Unlike the bit about Salvador Dali's career as an accounting wunderkind, the story of Newton's dressing up in disguises to catch counterfeiters is not something we dragged from the tortured realms of our yelping fancy. Why the Royal Mint job? A popular theory is that, like Lagrange, he reached a point where he simply didn't care about science anymore, and gave himself over willingly to religious and governmental work.

But think about it... This guy sits in his room, riding out The Plague while reinventing the universe. He finally releases his thoughts on optics and, after a few laudatory words, gets roundly and repeatedly dick-punched (verbally speaking) by a bunch of dicks interested in preserving their positions. Newton starts off writing very polite notes back, explaining and clarifying, but the letters don't stop. The mockery doesn't stop. He gets himself embroiled in intellectual pissing wars he doesn't necessarily care about. So, he pulls away from the whole petty scene and goes some place where he can hide, do some good work, and at the very least not spend every moment of his day arguing with dumbwads.

The younger Newton is the stuff of epics and high school posters. The embittered elder one is funnier.

- DvL

Incompetence is funny.

"Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein" wouldn’t be the classic that it is if either Bud or Lou had a clue about what was going on. The movie would have been about five minutes long and shown in classrooms as a public service announcement for how to deal with the supernatural menace.

Costello: Hey Bud, looks like a vampire is a-risin’ out of that crate.
(Abbott turns around in time to see Dracula trying to slink back into the crate and create a humorous misunderstanding.)
Abbott: Damn if you aren’t right, Lou. And unless I miss my guess, this isn’t any vampire, this is Dracula. Well, you know what to do.
Costello: Sure do.
(Costello stakes, decapitates, and burns Dracula.)
Abbott: We better check these other crates out.
(They check out the other crates and find parts of Frankenstein’s monster in them.)
Costello: Better torch these, just to be on the safe side.
(Abbott and Costello destroy the parts of the monster.)
Wolfman: Hey fellows, I’ve got a terrible problem and I could sure use your help…
Abbott: This wouldn’t have to do with Dracula’s plot to rebuild Frankenstein’s monster, would it?
Wolfman: Well, I don’t know.
Costello: Third base, you hairy bastard!
(Costello plugs the Wolfman with six silver bullets.)
Abbott: We better hide this body and catch the next train out of town.
THE END