One of my fondest memories as a kid was playing the first Dragon Warrior on my NES, heading into the ruined city where my Nintendo Power map told me that one of Erdrick's legendary items was waiting to boost my stats by some undreamt-of integer value. There were poison tiles, Knight Axes, dragons and Magiwyverns EVERY DAMN STEP... it was NUTS. But what it taught me was a hearty respect for Items.

That respect gushes over at least three panels of this comic.

Items.

- Count Dolby von Luckner

I have nothing but respect for items. The deus exes of tomorrow come packaged in the items of today.

The phrase "Greetings from the Mystery Box" has its origins in a late night of programming about three years ago. I was working late on a prototype (that had to be done suddenly for some reason I don't remember) and when I stumbled out of the office at 4am or so, the parking lot was empty save for my car and a large box that had been positioned on top of a trash can in front of the door to the building. It struck me as a good idea to write "Greetings from the Mystery Box" on the box in order to enhance the confusion of some lucky co-worker later that morning and to give a shout out to the popular Mystery Spot by referencing its "Greetings from the Mystery Spot" slogan.

I later learned that the Mystery Spot neither used nor uses such a slogan. However, this phrase that was whispered to me by the universe one caffeine-and-C-addled morning makes a grand title for this episode.

Wally Schirra has died, it seems.

*removal of tophat in dignified mourning*

- The Count