Moose can be pretty scary. I remember this video that was aired on the local news about this guy that thought it would be a good idea to go pet this baby moose that standing on the sidewalk. His girlfriend was video taping the encounter which is how we all got to see the horror that unfolded. The mother moose ran out from the treeline, knocked the guy over, and then crushed his ribcage and skull. That man was killed by a moose.

It was kind of, but not exactly, like this.

However, in the great moose-human wars, I'm pretty sure the humans are winning by virtue of slamming into moose with their cars. The cars don't look too pretty afterward (moose are generally tall enough to cause damage to the windshield and hood of the car, not to mention the moose instinct to let loose with moose crap when struck), but a moose with broken legs is a pitiable sight.

--Geoff

Peter, allied with Denmark and Poland, went to war in an entirely unscrupulous fashion with Sweden after months of insincere protestations of utter friendship for the Swedish people. He had no real reason for this war beyond the fact that he really, really wanted a port that wasn't ice-covered Archangel.

Unfortunately, the country that he chose to pick on had the finest, best-drilled, most fearless army in Europe at the time, and was led by that brilliant bear-wrestler, Charles XII. The result was that, at Narva, Peter's army was entirely destroyed by a Swedish force overwhelmingly less numerous. Charles then spent a while thumping on Poland and Denmark before turning back around and driving into the heart of Russia. It took two frightful, nail-biting decades, a fair chunk of Peter's reign, for the war to finally drag to its conclusion, but in the end Peter was indeed the victor.

As to the whole moose bit, well, that's Geoff's story. And a fine story it is.

- Count Dolby von Luckner