My introduction to Mary Baker Eddy was through Mark Twain's book Christian Science. It opens thus:

"This last summer, when I was on my way back to Vienna from the Appetite-Cure in the mountains, I fell over a cliff in the twilight and broke some arms and legs and one thing and another, and by good luck was found by some peasants who had lost an ass..."

I suspect anybody who doesn't love Mark Twain of being vaguely non-human. In any case, it was a nail-biter whether Moderation would go to Eddy or Carrie Nation, but since the latter's Moderation involved breaking the hell out of bars with a hatchet, I figured maybe Eddy was the better fit.

And now your Donnie Murphy update:

The world's average temperature dropped by 1.2 degrees over the past two days, the result of the hopes and dreams of small children the globe over suddenly being extinguished as Donnie Murphy went 0 for 5 on Sunday and 0 for 4 with a walk on Monday.

- Count Dolby von Luckner