Oh, the Georges. Each dynasty has its own internal familial dynamic - think of the Stuarts, of when brothers Charles II and James II would get up early to race their yachts against each other. Or the Tudors, pacing about each other like starved and slightly mad cats... and then there's the Hanoverian Georges, who are more akin to an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond than anything else. The fathers all but peeing on their hapless sons - the sons running into the arms of the nearest revolutionaries to get back at their fathers, and somewhere in the midst of it all, if there was time, the government of England happened somehow. George I, who could have given two poos for England, drove his son George II to Parliament and opposition, and that Parliament then cashed in by rendering the son a somewhat charming and ineffectual non-entity as a king. George III was pretty sure he learned the lesson from all of that and instituted massive plans of organized monarchical bribery to get Parliament in line, all while moaning in despair over the antics of arch-fop George IV who responded by inevitably joining the Parliamentary opposition which would, in turn, basically run the country while he spent his time on the throne designing fancy fancy shoe buckles and being generally awful. George III might have turned out the best of the lot, had he lived in less complicated times. If you could swap George III into George IV's reign, and then sub II into III's, and then IV into II's, and somehow blow I out the nearest airlock... why, that might have been a thing.

Which begs the question - is there such a thing as a fantasy monarch league? And if not, can we start one now?

- Count Dolby von Luckner